Futbol is by far the most popular sport down here in Colombia. After ringing my mate, we decided to head up to the stadium one rainy, Sunday afternoon to catch a game. I knew the game would be intense, but little did I expect what actually would happen.
Getting off of the bus, we were greeted by lines of SWAT guys ready to beat the crap out of someone at the flip of a dime. Neither one of us had any idea on where to get tickets, but at the same time, we were both to petrified to ask the Robocops. So… we started to wander. A couple guys tried selling us tickets on the street, but we decided to play it safe and hit the ticket office. We didn’t really know what section we should get tickets for, but we did receive one piece of advice… avoid the south section. The south is crazy, stupid, and dangerous… especially for foreigners. All right, point taken.
We had the choice of two lines, and without inquiring the differences between the two, we randomly chose a place to wait taking no notice that we were in the line with all the kids. Kids tend to not have money. People who don’t have money tend to sit in the south section. Also, we were too oblivious to realize that everyone, and I mean everyone, was staring at us. And one point, people were asking where our jerseys were. We explained that we didn’t have one, but still supported the home team. The glares we then received made us wonder… what the hell are we about to get ourselves into???
Turns out, we were in the line in which we could only buy tickets for the south. After contemplating for a minute on our situation, we both looked at each other and asked, “How bad can it be?” I mean, ya, we were warned that if we sat in the south, we would get robbed, beaten, stabbed, and trampled. But in my opinion, those are all just flesh wounds. Also, I did make orange belt in karate 18 years ago, so I knew I could hold my ground.
The security to get into the south section was intense. I had to throw my umbrella and my key chain away since it could be used as a weapon. We were directed to remove our shoes and socks in order to ensure we were not smuggling in a paper clip (another deadly weapon). They patted us down on two separate occasions, and at one point, even tried to search my anus. Finally, they realized I’m just a stupid gringo and there probably wasn’t anything up there.
We finally entered the stadium and began to put our shoes back on. Within a minute, a police officer approached us and asked if this was our first time. When we said yes, he seemed excited that we were there but recommended that we move to a different section. He said it wasn’t dangerous, but he just wanted to make sure we really “enjoy the game.” What the hell… we’ll follow him.
Several police and logistic officers escorted us over to another section (where the tickets are definitely more expensive) and stayed quite close to us at all times, making sure we never left their sight. We finally got to the jail bars, I mean, gates, that separate the two sections. Our escorts then presented us to another logistics officer. On hearing that we were in the south section, the look he gave us was priceless. He was to cordial enough not to ask us how stupid we truly were… but his look said it all. His jaw was dropped and his eyes were wide open. Ok, so maybe my orange belt would not have worked in the section.
Instead of sitting in the worst part of the stadium, we were taken to the best seats in the house. As the game kicked off, we watched the south section and their behavior. After about two minutes of observations, we were both very thankful to not be in that crowd.
As expected, the game was full of excitement and energy. After watching the World Cup, the level of skill was mediocre but still entertaining. The crowd was into it, and at times, constantly jumping up and down. But without a doubt, the best part of the game was the cheerleaders. Not because they were attractive, but because they were absolutely and utterly horrible. Also, there were a group of perverts that instead of watching the game, they decided to watch the cheerleaders. It was hilarious to see them drooling over some girls trying to do a cartwheel for their stunt.
I’m not lying when I say this… but the cheerleaders from my middle school were better than those girls. The only way to truly explain it is to see the video.